This Valentine’s, I apologize for being Single..

Disclaimer: This is not to mock all the people in relationships. I am extremely happy for you to have found the partner of your dreams (or adjusting with the one you found, kidding of course!). Nor is this to advise you on how you should be living your single life (in fact, I am trying to put across exactly an opposite point of view). This is from a purely non-judgmental standpoint, speaking for only myself and if the shoe fits, feel free to wear it. If not, oh well, ignore the following text, do check out the outfit photos though!

People often tell me that I don’t write enough about myself, well that’s mostly because I don’t want the attention to be diverted to my fun personality (in my head at least), from the outfits I am sharing. But this particular question surrounding the relationship status seems to continue to haunt us-millennials. I have certain views on it and guess what? it’s Valentine’s Day! Bringing the perfect opportunity to express, alongside some Valentine’s day outfit ideas, regardless of how you plan to celebrate with your girl squad, best friend, sister, boyfriend, partner, etc.

Starting with some random questions I get asked:

“Oh, you are single?!”.. – First of all, please keep those sympathetic looks to yourself. Let me break it to you, it’s 2018, and it’s completely okay to be single until you feel like you need companionship.

“Oh you travel alone, how does that work?” – Because you have so much conviction already in the answer you are implying, I am not going to waste even a tiny strand of energy on explaining how fun, adventurous and inspirational it is to travel alone.

“Oh, did you meet anyone on your trip?” – Oh you Rom-Com freaks, this is not a movie and I did not spend those $$ on travel as means of meeting someone.

“Oh, when are you settling down?” (My Indian readers should relate the most to this one) – Well, from where I stand, I am pretty settled at this point in my life. I have a full-time job that I absolutely love as it keeps me intellectually stimulated, I have a blog that acts as my creative outlet, I have amazing friends who I love hanging out with and I always look forward to planning my next trip. So yes I am pretty settled for now at least.

Some more answers I would just want to put out there, before I am even asked:

“No, I am not waiting for serendipity to happen”

“No, I am not a man-hater” (In fact, any eligible guy reading this right now, hit me up! *wink*)

“Yes! I am totally over all the guys I dated”

“No, I am not dating every single guy you see on my social media profile”

“No, I am not waiting for a guy to fall into my lap”

“No, I don’t think using dating apps is “bad” (In fact, you may even find me on one some day, if that’s what I feel like doing)

“No, this is not my feminist way of living as a strong, independent individual” (I am very aware that you could still be all those things regardless of your relationship status)

“No, I am not determined to live and die alone”

A special mention to all those who are single and actively looking or dating:

I am extremely happy that you know what you are doing and thank you for your advice and concern when you say that I should “shake” things up as well. As much as I value your advice, as you see me as one of you, I am very well aware of all the means of looking and finding dates for myself and I would very well put an effort in that direction if that’s what I feel like.

So where do I stand with this “horrific” phase of my life:

I have been single for a large part of my life now. And as much as I enjoy being in a relationship, I absolutely also enjoy my own company. I can not put a price on all the experiences I have gathered or all the things I have taught myself, while being solo in the situations or certain times of life. No, I am not saying, “Being single is the best”, some days, it’s not.

But those are the moments that push me to be self-sufficient. Those are the moments that allow me to develop a strong sense of individuality, allow me to ask myself what are the things I really like, to the things I absolutely hate, what are my strong values, to what my weaknesses are. All my travel experiences, from getting almost mugged in Milan (remind me to tell you that story some day), to walking 2 hours by the water in Nice, France with my headphones on and asking strangers to take my photos while I change my “blogger” poses. These are some very important moments of my life that I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Those are the moments that pushed me to start blogging when I craved to do something new, cut to almost two years later, here I am sharing my thoughts and I know at least the tiniest pie of the society would care to read what I am writing or the content I am creating. It gives me lot of joy when people come and talk to me about it. I have made some great friends through blogging, shout out to this bestie I met through blogging. While I understand you can do all of these things while being in a relationship (obviously I am not going to stop blogging when I start dating, it’s an integral part of me now). I personally had the motivation to do it only because I was single and wanted to invest my time productively.

This phase has given me some self-realization moments. It gives me lot of confidence to not settle down with something that doesn’t bring me happiness or walk out of a situation or relationship for that matter, which doesn’t lift me up, because I am not scared to be alone.

Along the same lines, I think everyone should be allowed to decide for themselves how they want to navigate through this phase of their life that we pass through at least once. There’s no need to fit in because our generation has set a certain way of living a single phase. I surround myself with only amazing people who I call friends. I am blessed to have amazing parents, who care more about how my work is, what are my weekend plans, how my blog is doing (shout out to my mom here, who’s the biggest fan of my blog, love you mommy!)

While I understand you can do all these things even when you are dating or have a partner, and that is a different experience altogether. But this is the phase I am in right now and I absolutely enjoy being in it.

So this Valentine’s, I apologize for not being apologetic for being single…